Pain

Morning Motivation

/ petitepea / Leave a comment

Some days begin with my feeling more tired and in greater pain than when I went to bed. Pain has either completely stolen my sleep or made it broken or disrupted. Those are the days I need extra motivation to get up and going. If my schedule allows, and really in need of sleep will take two Benadryl and something for pain and try to sleep. But if, like today, when my closest Colorado friend’s son is getting married, I need to get going regardless of how I feel.

I am an extrovert and love to attend social events but I need to have down days planned on either side of an event. I needed to say no to a fun international potluck/fiesta I was invited to last night because have the wedding today that was much more important I attend. Making those hard decisions, yet encouraging my hubby to attend without me are part of the sacrifices required in my day to day life of chronic illness.

So how do I get going on a morning like today? First of all greet God before I get out of bed. Acknowledge to Him how I feel and my need for His strength to be made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) I also try to recount at least three things I am thankful for and express my gratitude to the Lord. Practicing gratitude gets my eyes off of me and on to my faithful, sovereign, good and wise God. My physical therapist gave me stretches I do in bed each morning that help. Today with extra pain from storm system that came through last night I am taking a soak in our tub with magnesium flakes in the water. Often while soaking I do some devotions or blog from my phone.

Today I awoke to an encouraging response to a previous blog post and it made me realize once again God has purpose in my pain and illness.

So as soak, I think of friends on here and social media who I have never met me face to face. There is a special bond and camaraderie among those who live with chronic illness and/or pain. We are the ones who grasp this life and truly understand the limitations that come with it. We are the ones who know the faith and grace it takes to count it all joy and live in gratitude regardless of our hard circumstances.

Knowing I have other brothers and sisters in similar situations motivates me to get up and live life with joy relying on God’s strength and grace. I want the world to see though I have health issues and pain that is not who I am.

I am a blessed, chosen before the world began, loved, adopted, redeemed and one that God lavishes on His grace. (Ephesians 1:3-10). I remember I am chosen, holy and beloved. (Colossians 3:12). As His beloved daughter, He has an eternal plan and a purpose for my life.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

Image from Bible Study Tools

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. – Psalm 138:8

Image from Verse of the Day

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. – Psalm 57:2

Blessings,

Deb

Pretending to be Normal

/ petitepea / Leave a comment

My life in recent years has changed greatly due to multiple chronic illnesses taking up residence in my body. My brain and emotions still feel normal even though my body doesn’t always respond.

I was recently asked in early December if I would like to host a dinner party in our home in appreciation of our church Life Group Leaders on January 5th . We were not planning on going out of town over the holidays and figured with hubby’s help could pick at it and be fine with it knowing would have a day or two of recovery afterwards.

The week before Christmas I looked at flight schedules to where our daughter and her family live and found a killer deal leaving Christmas Eve night. Only $82 for both of our round trips with taxes and everything. My hubby was the one preaching the sermon Sunday morning on Christmas Eve day, so leaving earlier not an option. We talked to our daughter and son-in-love and decided to go for it. Hubby could only stay until the 28the with work and church commitments but I booked my return flight for the morning of January 3.

The week before our trip I was doing a mad scramble trying to pack and get the a table runner and other decor made for the Dinner party. I made lists, meal plans and instructions for hubby to take Christmas tree down etc before I arrived home.

I had a wonderful ten days with my daughter’s family and so enjoyed the time with our four grandchildren between the ages of 6 months and 7 years old. Not sure if it was the lower elevation or joy of being with everybody but physically felt much better while I was there.

I arrived home mid morning on January 3 and life was a blur of trying to stuff reaction symptoms with meds, pushing through pain, cleaning, decorating and cooking. The other pastors and wives took care of prepping the prime rib and dessert which helped immensely. All was done with time to spare so we were able to relax for a few minutes before guests arrived. I popped some extra B-12 sublingual to give me energy and thoroughly enjoyed our evening. God blessed our goal of making the Life Group Leaders feeling blessed, refreshed and appreciated.

I slept or rested all day Saturday and went to church service Sunday morning and a reception that evening. Sunday night, as we returned home, I slammed into the proverbial wall and have been pretty much down for the count all this week. I am having pain, Mast cell reactions, and fighting a bug.

Several years ago I could have and did host many events in my home frequently without any impact. We were part of a church plant that met in a community center and later a school on Sundays so since we had a larger home and no kids at home, we hosted all church events as well as ladies bible studies, life group as well as frequent swim parties and BBQs. I thrived on it and loved every second of it.

When chronic illness struck I began having to count the cost on activities. I still love folks in our home and for the most part have smaller groups over and keep things very low key and simple. I think the masking of my pain by being on a pain medication since early November enabled me to feel better and I easily deceived myself into thinking I could once again do it all, like I was normal. And it was fun to pretend until it all came crashing down.

As I rest up this week, I am reminding myself, what I have shared on here before, to count the cost and decide on things based on eternal benefits and impacting others for Christ. I am also remembering my precious friend JoAnn, who passed away three months ago, always reminding me about not running out of spoons. I need another friend like her who understood limitations from her personal experience and was so fun, caring and full of faith to remind me. If you do not understand what that means read the Spoon Theory.

https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

Would I do it again? Yes. But ask me again next week. 😉

I will include a few shots of the table runner I sewed and from my pretense of being normal. <><

hope all of you are all doing well and counting the cost of all you do in view of what matters in eternity.

Blessings,

Deb

Choosing Faith & Gratitude Amidst Pain

/ petitepea / 1 Comment

Father in heaven, you know the questions that weigh heavily upon my heart. Just as I rejoice that you have chosen me to be witness to your awesome might, help me move from childhood to maturity about my illness. Let me not resist your plan for me, but go willingly, proclaiming to all that you are God.

Maureen Pratt from her book Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain and Illness.

I have found the times pain consumes me my eyes are on myself. I am focused on me and am forgetful of all the pain and suffering my Jesus endured at Calvary. He chose out of His great love to suffer and die for me, for you to make a way to pay for our sins so we can become His children.

Lord, enable me to choose to count it all joy (James 1:1-4)even on the days when pain is intense, others are not understanding or supportive and the long days of what ifs as wait for tests and further diagnosis. Help me to build my faith by recounting and reciting the many promises in your word to change my focus and attitude. In future days of intense pain help me to not wallow in it but to find things to rejoice in and express gratitude

In the name of the one who suffered all thing, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Faith came singing into my room,

And other guests took flight:

Fear and Anxiety, Grief and Gloom

Sped out into the night.

I wondered that such peace could be,

But Faith said gently,”Don’t you see?

They really cannot live with me.”

Author Unknown

Page 29 Grace Grows Best in Winter